I know this entry is coming a few days late, but it's taken me a little bit to collect my thoughts on everything I got to partake in but I really wanted to contribute to the blog! I had left New York feeling ragged at the edges, not sure why I what I was doing or why I was doing it and I came back feeling incredibly rejuvenated and ready to throw myself back into my work. I wasn't quite sure what it was that had done it- the fact that I was far away from the hustle bustle of NYC? the beautiful desert? the wonderful conversations about theater we had (with mostly people I had just met)? the immediate feeling like these artists were good friends right from the start? the amazing various workshops and play sessions??? ... I think all of the above!
I think all of the above was, in a sense, the Buran Community. There were a lot of questions about what Buran is and whatnot and I'm not trying to answer that question. But all these elements put together reminded me of whats really important for me right now. Its not my job, not whether or not I have an agent, or any of that! But rather whats really important (for me) is my attitude and my process. The attitude of the summit (it seemed to me) was very open and curious .. and it was catching! It was because of that attitude that I felt like it was safe to say whatever thoughts I had, to challenge myself and others etc. Remembering that everyone has their own process in every step of the way (when it comes to theater, but I think also maybe in every aspect of life??) reminded me of the sense that right now my goal is to learn and grow and push myself and learn what my process is... And to stop worrying about whether or not the work is "good" or whatever! Right now is the time to be a fool for a little bit!
Digression: a few months ago I decided that just as we should all face one fear a day we should also be embarrassed at least once a day. I wasn't sure exactly why I thought that was such a good idea until this trip-- we were on the dance floor at the tricklock party and I was so UNable to follow the leader and felt like such a fool! But the music was too enticing and I was having too much fun to care.. and I realized --- embarassing yourself is a humbling experience and when we are humble and open to making fools of ourselves we are able to take the risks that artists need to take to make art that is personal to them!
So, anyway, I dont know how corny/idealistic this blog is, but these are my thoughts (among many) from the past week! And who cares?? I'm an idealist!!! :) Many thanks to Buran and Adam for all the inspiration! (Now the question is how do I bring this into my life when I fall back into the hustle bustle attitude of NYC???)
-Jean
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I think that's the most difficult thing to do - to hold onto those Wonderful Feelings, it's akin to inspiiration. Once inspired how do you carry that into the work and let it keep breathing into you so you can move forward with the Thing?
ReplyDeleteI think there has to be a mindfulness about it.
One way I've thought about "checking in" with myself lately came from a class I took my freshman year of college - and it has just recently returned to my thoughts. The class was focused on mastering one thing over the length of a semester. We had "Zen and the Art of Archery" as our core text and as we read, slowly and surely, we wrote about our work. Some choosed to master a language or a complex game.
At the time I was playing Grandpa Vanderhof in a university production of "You Can't Take It It With You" - I had never been asked to play with age in such drastic ways. So, my goal for the four months was to "master age."
I remember being very pleased with the mindfulness of keeping something so simple running through my head. And writing about that ONE thing. Just that ONE thing: To Master Age.
All of our lives are so mumble-jumbled with the busy-ness of comings and goings and movings and schedules and a thousands of stimuli at any moment.
As for myself, I guess what I'm taking from the summit is that mindfulness and to find ways to integrate that into not just my work in theatre but in living everyday with others and alone.
-Adam